No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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