how can u be prego again
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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