Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
