What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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