jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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