I'm going to jail i love you
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
