loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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