anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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