we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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