I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
