so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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