I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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