i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
