Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
