I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
