I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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