Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
