You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
