Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
