CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
