Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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