Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
