she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
