whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
