There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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