R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
