another moral hangover. fuck.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
