so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
