It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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