dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
