so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
