Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
