Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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