Where is the hickey?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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