yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
