I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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