Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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