Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
