Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
