I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
