pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize