Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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