I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
