and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
