We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
