are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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