just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
