Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
