How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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