Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
