I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
